Hi folks-
I think I forgot how to type. I certainly, routinely drop words when transferring thoughts to sentence form. Does that every happen to you?
It's guaranteed that when I re-read an email I will have at least three words my mind failed to send to my fingers to make real.
Shoot, I was reading a very funny TV spec script I wrote that used to get me meetings and imagine my shock when there was a spelling error on the very first page. Whoops!
Suffice to say I am making a concerted effort to...SLLLOOOWWW DOWWWN. A little bit because I hate the internet so much. Sorry, it's starting to suck as a thing.
I think that the more online I am, the more I am encouraged to beat some clock that some app team hacked into my brain Neuromancer style and my heart starts racing and there's an urgency to cram in as many tasks as possible because more more good good more good good more good...
More.
Even writing this newsletter I feel a real panic to get it done and out for some reason far in the distant future. If I do enough of these newsletters, maybe one will be received with a degree of mutual understanding. That's not bad?
That and it would be nice to connect with some friendly folks. I am biased, but if you listen to our show then I bet you're chill.
Actually, so much of my daily routine is spent absorbing news, social media posts, advertisements, coworker meeting updates and the byproduct of passive household duty that I worry my ability to proactively form thoughts in the way I want to form them is falling by the wayside.
I get worried I'm just here to help technology get turned on and used and updated. What am I, Geek Squad?
Hence the slowing down and double-hence the writing this.
So sorry, you're the captive audience here but also it's kind of nice in a pen pal kind of way?
Part of my slowing down also has to do with being a grown-up example to my kid. After eight years of being a parent I have this very scientific theory of parenting that goes basically, if you are an asshole and you have a kid and still act like an asshole well then your kid either never talks to you again or becomes an even bigger asshole.
While I'm not that (an asshole), I do worry that my hurried example is having reprecussions in the kid world when really they should just be like watching sunlight on bugs or cracking eachother up on the monkey bars.
Now when I read to my daughter before bed I make sure to clock the word combinations and say the sentence like I'm learning in 2nd grade instead of just flashing the meaning of the word combinations back to her with zero consideration like I know I can. I am a smart man in this way.
My main point is this: it weighs on me, the idea of not finishing this saga. I mean Finding Pattersby. It's a world I love and have things in it to say still. So I am considering several paths forward. But in a slow way.
Also I have a full-time job writing boring corporate communications and adhering to AP style while also getting yelled at for not knowing AP-style. I am adjusting to office culture after maybe 13 years of only being freelance and doing cool stuff and waking up at 9:30am. Now I wake up at 6:00am. I am proving myself disciplined but tucked in shirts are constricting.
I want to "sing in my own voice" as they say. I want to have a place for my strange, esoteric thoughts. I just wanna joke. I would KILL to joke.
I of course wish I could do only this but the reality is I have to keep the lights on and tend to my parental duties and stuff.
For those with children you may also know that having a kid in school isn't just a drop-off/pick-up situation. It's a whole thing. Holy hell, we've been to five birthday parties this month.
Pray you never have to make small talk with other parents it is the absolute blurst. Some are cool and if you are a parent I have made small talk with and you are reading this then I am not talking about you and thank you for having us at the roller-skating party.
So maybe this is my George R.R. Martin Winds of Winter blog post. A status update just to prove I can make my brain think and my hands type.
I am always heartened to check the numbers on Finding Pattersby and see that people are still discovering it. What a bunch of weirdos! I am your king.
King Weirdo.
So yeah 50,000 downloads so far. That's not nothing. That's something.
I want to make more, and in what shape remains to be seen.
Maybe we go tighter? Maybe we crowdfund again and put out an audiobook of The D.A.D.D.Y. Complex? and everyone who pitches in gets the book? I have a friend who narrates horror books and he does an absolute great job I bet we could get him paid.
The main thing is this: bear with me.
I'm slowing down, but it's for a good cause. If you feel like slowing down, then you should slow down too. Stare at the coffee all long. In a contemplative way. Be deliberate. Look at the sky when you wake up first thing I heard that's good for you.
And if you have time to leave a review or recommend our show please do so: https://linktr.ee/patterspod
Okay now I am going to re-read this for spelling errors.
Thank you again.
Ryan
P.S.
More good good more more good good good more more good..
More.
P.S.S.
Are you gonna see the Street Fighter movie?
Are you having trouble being online?
Are you working on anything cool but also have a helluva job?